keeppthevibe:

I might be too young to settle down and marry, but I’m definitely too old to be playing anymore games. I’m too old to just be talking to someone, too old to not know what’s really going on, and too old to be entertaining somebody with no intentions of making it work. At this age, I’m only interested in consistency, stability, respect and loyalty. And I want to hear someone tell me that they love me and know they goddam mean it.

(via iheartalexvause)


buttspectre:

why would you want to be an offensive stereotype for Halloween

when u can be

this

image

(via alexandriabickham)


(via memewhore)



aobadatsgay:

I AM FUCKING DEAD. SO I WAS HAVING TROUBLE DOWNLOADING THE SIMS 2 THING THAT’S BEEN GOING AROUND SO I CONTACTED THEIR LIVE CHAT SUPPORT FOR HELP. WELL THE PERSON WANTED MY INFO AND FOR ME TO ANSWER THE SECURITY QUESTION I SET UP SO THEY COULD PUT THE GAME IN MY COLLECTION.
THE QUESTION WAS “What was your dream job as a kid?”
GUESS WHO HAD TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION TO A LIVE PERSON WITH “Doing your mom.”. SPOILET ALERT IT WAS FUCKING ME.

(via obamathepresident)



starllex:

when you see a dog from across the street 

image

(via egg-tampon)


sorelatable:

I hate when i lose something and my parents says “well i guess you didnt care about it enough” like you’ve lost me in a grocery store before so

(via pizza)


I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

(via identityonfuckingfire)


drunktrophywife:

Who could honestly say this to their mom without getting knocked into the next dimension

drunktrophywife:

Who could honestly say this to their mom without getting knocked into the next dimension

(via you-theocean-andme)